Still feeling lost

Life often feels like a journey. Not surprisingly, the journey of our lives thus becomes confuse. It's like being in a dream that did not make sense or reading a story that does not seem to go anywhere.

I'm feeling lost because I know I have choices but lack the ability to know which one to make. With the coming of the end of my bond, I am at a point in life where I am unsure of what I want. I just can't see where my choices will take me, now that I'm reaching that fork in the road. So many things are uncertain and I'm afraid...

I'm also feeling isolated, a sense that for everything that I do, it is not just leading to progress. I'm feeling fairly ambivalent about whether my life is meaningful. For all the 'teaching' I do in class, the OSL projects that I take on, do I have a positive effect on my life and on those around me?

Last but not least, it's been dreadful to feel so alone. I know I have not been helping myself when I make myself go off from my friends and colleagues. On weekends, I again herd myself off to some corner of the island. Being alone has almost become an intentional and subconscious choice.

Hence, I'm suffering more than the usual dosage of depression that I already suffer on occasion... If only I can turn this depression into something more positive, of action for personal reflection and inner growth, to regroup and rebuild my inner strength.

But as usual, I'm all NATO - no action, talk only...