Emotional baggage

113, 000 links found on Google Search in 0.38 seconds.

One of the link states: "The longer we live, the more experiences we have, the more our emotional baggage grows."

How true.

Another link says: "Unpacking your emotional baggage is one of the most important steps toward letting go and closing the door for good."

To many people, I'm independent, resourceful and self-sufficient. To a 'privileged' few, they have seen (and heard) me at my worst - sulking, whining, not a pretty sight to behold.

I have been told that I don't seem to allow people to come into my life. I wonder why. I thought I have always been very open and honest and definitely talkative, too talkative even. After all, I am a teacher. We are supposed to do a lot of talking. *grin*

Anyway, back to emotional baggage.

Due to what I would call logistical problems, I have been unable to resolve much of my emotional baggage from my previous relationship. (I can't believe I'm putting all these words down for anyone to see... but I feel it's another step in closing the door, I guess...) So, last night, thanks to a friend's birthday bash at Madam Wong's, I was able to finally close the door.

But truth be told, the door has been stuck open for an 'enlightening' 20 months. Finding out that I can do things on my own - shopping, eating, holidaying and even the 'ultimate' - going to a movie solo. A romance movie, at that. Learning new interests and niches. Having a crush on somebody, asking that somebody out (more than once), and accepting his rejections (yes, more than once again). Getting back in touch with my friends and more importantly, myself and my family. Not a minute too late, with my grandmother passing away 2 months ago. Although I must say that I was rather lonely during that time. How often I wished during the funeral and wake that there was somebody beside me, to support me and help me out.

So, with that little snippet of my emotional baggage out in the open, I shall get back to my favourite girls - the Gilmore Girls. *grin*

And yes, I know that my experience is not unique. It happens to other people every day even. But well, 'experiental learning' (to use the latest education jargon) serves the most when it's your own. And I'm a stubborn person. Learning just doesn't come easy at times, does it?