Have I become heartless?

Sometimes, I really feel that I've gotten 'heartless' over the last 2 years.

My vocal teacher says I'm unemotional when I sing. My HODs say I look very calm and forbidding. TOO calm and forbidding. So many of my students ask me to smile more in their Teachers' Day cards.

And frankly, I really didn't feel much when I was told that my favourite student is hospitalised. And when I went to see her today, I also wasn't feeling much.

I'm so afraid... Has my heart really turned cold? Maybe it's disappeared...?

So that I will not get hurt. By my students who hurl vulgarities at me so often. By my HODs and P who think I'm not a good teacher. By the guys who don't seem to be interested in me. By myself for failing as a form teacher. As a subject teacher. As a woman...

To go or to stay

Sigh...

It's tough to be an adult. When you have to make choices. And to realise how important your choices are. On yourself. On others...

One of my students is very ill. Toyed with the idea of shaving my head for some Children's Cancer thingy this August. Never realised how I might really be doing it for my student come next year.

Will be getting a 'D' for my work review for this year. Feels like such a fiasco. I'm graded down because so many of my students screwed up. And, thus, makes me look like a screw-up, apparently.

Then, now that the end of the year is here, couple students hoping I'd be their form teacher next year. Not sure it's because they like me. Because one of the students say it's because another teacher will die.

The student who's down with cancer. Also hoping that I'd continue to be her form teacher next year. She's my best student and favourite student. For the past year, she's been one of the reasons I'd stay on just so I can see her graduate. Now, even more reason for me to stay on for her...

So, to go or to stay... Do I really have a choice?

Yippee! It's Friday!

Phew! Finally finished setting all my End-of-Year Papers. Mathematics one all clear. Least changes ever! Hope Science one will clear just as easily.

Been procrastinating about the Science papers since last week. Always think back and tell myself, "I could have finished a week ago if I just made myself do it." But well, things never happen that way, do they?

Anyway, thank goodness I woke up at 3 am this morning. And lotsa breaks today, with no student-drama. Yesterday was power drama man! Typed all about it on my PDA liao, but haven't uploaded to my laptop. Will copy and paste later.

Oh yeah, and I managed to finish setting Revision Paper for my 2T in like, 15 minutes, and Class Test Paper for my 2E in, also, 15 minutes. Then took like 10 minutes to print each set of papers.

Power! Anybody think teachers will outsource their paper setting? Maybe I should try my hand at writing assessment books, eh?

Okies. Time to look for my HOD. Hand up my papers and ZAO!!!

Well Done!

Well Done No. 1 - I did not ask for more crumbs when I ordered my grilled fish dinner from Long John Silver just now.

Well Done No. 2 - I finished the vegetable salad WITHOUT putting any dressing on it.

Well Done No. 3 - I did not finish the fries even though I was very much tempted to.

*applause please*

School Starts Again...

Phew! 2 days in school.

I was sorely tempted to take MC on Monday. But decided to brave through it. Will have karma one - it's either I die or other people die worse taking my relief. Monday = 10 period day.

In the end, not too bad. Had assembly instead of Value Education with my class. Was supposed to have contact time (kinda waste of time coz it gets extremely long-winded) but it was postponed to Wed.

School ended at 3 but dunno why dilly dally until 4+. Then went to NUS with some colleagues and actually managed to have my first meal since dinner the nite before. And finished setting my year-end exam papers!

So, all in all, pretty good day. Yeah, got to watch ANTM too! *smile*

Today not so good. Thot 'free' day - can leave straight after school & plan my lessons for the week. But received something in my pigeon hole yesterday. Got to invigilate Science Practical Prelim Exams today. Last 3 slots some more! Ended at 6+!

Thankfully, had lessons more or less planned out during the weekend. Really pia-ed that weekend. But can see rewards. Coz otherwise I wouldn't be updating blog at all... *laugh*

So all the more I must stay on top of things and plan my lessons in advance. But... I want my weekends! Phew, that there are only about 18 more teaching days left. Though I must add about another 2 weeks' worth of lessons coz my class will still be having lessons while the rest of the school have their exams. Dunno why just can't let them have 'revision time' at home lah. Come to school just more opportunity to make trouble... *bleah*

P.S. Must remember to blog about my 'wonderful' Teachers' Day celebrations!

Long Time No See

Hihi!

It's been a looong time since I last blogged.

Let's see... Since April, there was Mid-Year Exams, marking for Mid-Year Exams, rushing report cards. And those were only school stuff.

May was MOS, where an angel fell from grace. *grin* Going through my fren's blog, apparently I took MC on 15th May and he had to take almost all my classes for relief. *more grin* It was pretty funny seeing him talk about my class and their problems. I wonder if the HODs would have as much 'fun' if they take over my class.

So exciting... Have to refer to my friend's blog to know wat I did... Fun pool session at Beach Road on 16th May, followed by weekday movie (Poseidon) at Beach Road Shaw Cinema. Not bad! Better show than I had expected.

June came along with HOLIDAYS! My foot lor...

One week = 'Structured Programme' = 1h every day with my class. Which is even more than the usual time I have with them during normal school days. Duh!

Last week = school meetings and programmes, dept meetings, etc.

Thankfully, took a couple of days off to go Bangkok with my colleagues. Will update in another post about the trip. Very exciting. Got stuck in lift at hotel. Last minute rush to shop shop shop big time. More drama at the end of the trip.

And wat do you know? It's been 3 months since then. Coz the Sept holidays just finishing. Urgh!